“Hey Grandpa, can I come and see you and Grandma for a week this summer?”
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| Our grandson, Rick |
It was one
of our grandsons who called me from his college in Florida. Mrs. Ross and I were
excited about the request even though we knew it meant that we would be paying
for his airfare.
While we
work out the date of his arrival and departure it dawned on me that one use of
our time together could be that my wife and I could tell him about our
grandparents and the legacy they have left for him. It is important because we
are the only people on earth who can teach him what our grandparents taught us.
So we are going to be intentional about that when he gets here in a few weeks.
Here is why
it is important: Because he needs to know where he came from – not just his mom
and dad and not just his grandparents, but beyond that. We believe that if he knows
something about his ancestors it will help him discover his destiny and thus
live out the meaning and purpose of his own life.
Now we must
decide what we want him to know about our grandparents and then we must devise
a way of telling him about them that will interest him and preserve their
legacy in his heart and mind.
Let’s take
those two issues one at a time.
First of
all, what do we want him to know about our grandparents?
This powerful
question will cause us to explore the recesses of our memories to recall the
few encounters we had with our grandparents, most of them were when we were wee
children, and then extrapolate from those memories the life-lessons worthy of
passing on to our grandson.
At lunch
today I asked Mrs. Ross what her earliest recollections were of her maternal
grandparents, Grandpa and Grandma Brown. She immediately told me the story
Grandpa Brown’s early death from emphysema. With a slight quiver in her voice she
said, “Grandpa Brown smoked himself to death.” Then she expanded the story to
tell about one of Grandpa Brown’s sons, her Uncle Bill. She recalled Uncle Bill
saying to her, “I’m just like my father. I’m going to smoke myself to death.”
And you know what? That is exactly what he did.
This is an
example of the kind of story that can be shared with a college-age grandson who
has already been tempted to try things much more harmful than cigarettes. Such
a story from and about a family member personalizes the life lesson and burns it
on the heart and in the mind of the listener.
Can you think
of a story from your childhood about your grandparents that taught you
something about life? Is there some way that your grandparents treated you or
something that they taught you that makes you who you are today?
Both of my
grandparents, especially my grandfathers, were the kind of men who wanted to
convey life lessons to their grandchildren.
My maternal grandfather, Grandpa Filatreau, was a great letter writer. He was also a confirmed Democrat and was willing to render his opinion on all things political. He didn’t live far from Richard Nixon’s parent’s home in Whittier California. He alleged he knew Richard Nixon as a boy and knew “that S.O.B. was a crook when he was a boy stealing money from his parent’s grocery store.” No one ever really believed his story, but it was so much fun to have him tell it that we didn’t bother to challenge him on its authenticity.
My Paternal
grandfather, who homesteaded in Colorado about 100 years ago, was also a
teacher of sorts. He wasn’t educated – I don’t think he went to school beyond
the 6th or 7th grade, but later in life he did do quite a
bit of writing and he had a Christian radio show about Bible prophecy, and he
even wrote a little book titled, “Where Do We Go from Here?”
So, there
are many stories I can tell my grandson about my grandparents, and since he is
studying for the ministry, many will be quite meaningful to him because he has
this same desire to teach and preach and share the Good News with others.
The other issue
we are forced to deal with is HOW; how are we going to communicate these stories
to our grandson in a way that will be memorable for him?
Because our
time with him will be limited we must schedule a time to talk specifically
about his great-grandparents.
The second
thing we must do is get some photos out so he can see what they looked like.
The third
thing will must do is share with him some of the letters my Grandpa Filatreau
wrote and show him the little book Grandpa Sapp wrote.
Photographs and
tangible items (such as Grandpa Sapp’s book) have a way of extending the story
and focusing the lessons for a longer-term impact. Visual aids make stories
come to life.
The fourth
thing we must do is photograph him with those mementos and give him hard copies
of the pictures.
The fifth
thing, which would be the best thing of all, would be for us to video the entire
session. That takes more work and creates its own unique set of challenges, but
would be the most valuable thing of all because it could then be shared with
the other grandchildren, some of whom are too young to appreciate their significance.
Now it’s
your turn? What Do You Want Your Grandchildren to Know About Your Grandparents?
Start out by
jotting down your thoughts, decide what you want to say, to whom do you want to
say it, determine how you are going to do it, then do it!
Here’s a quote
I saw somewhere that summarizes this whole effort:
“It is important that we know where we come from,
because if you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you
are, and if you don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going.
And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.”
If you are anything like me, you don’t want your
grandchildren going wrong.
